The Quickness Are Replaced by AI

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I always. Did you ever watch as a kid? I watched a lot of, like, old cartoons as a kid. Yeah, no, yeah, no, I was studying. [00:00:09] Speaker B: Yeah. I was trying to make something of myself, and here we are. [00:00:15] Speaker A: And I was eating food and watching tv, but I was always fascinated by the Hanna Barbera. Hanna Barbera had the Flintstones, which was a big hit for them. Longest running primetime animated sitcom up until, of course, the Simpsons, which now has been running for just under 200 years. But they wanted to mimic that success, and so they came out with the Jetsons. And I have not seen it recently, but when I was young, I'd be like, wow, I really wonder if the future will be like that. [00:00:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:49] Speaker A: It's something that I find so funny about the Jetsons. I don't know why I wish you watched it. Maybe you too, but would have the same thought, too, of the buildings in the Jetsons. They weren't ever ground level. And I don't know if there's, like, an in canon reason as to why, but they were all on these, like, almost like. Like wine glasses, almost like these big stems. And then, like, buildings would be on top of it. [00:01:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:13] Speaker A: And it's so like the flying cars can go. [00:01:15] Speaker B: And that makes sense, though. Cause they're just thinking about, like, the arc of human history, of, you know, we were, in short, buildings first. [00:01:21] Speaker A: You were underground. [00:01:22] Speaker B: Yeah, famously. We were mole people, and then Jesus gave us the ability to breathe above ground. And. [00:01:31] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:01:32] Speaker B: That's evolution, Jack. I've been to the museum, the creationist museum. I know what happened. [00:01:39] Speaker A: We shed all of our fur. No, no. [00:01:43] Speaker B: We were created by God. [00:01:45] Speaker A: Yes, that's right. Sorry. Ooh, sorry. [00:01:47] Speaker B: What were you thinking, Jack? [00:01:48] Speaker A: No, no, no, I wasn't. That was the problem. [00:01:50] Speaker B: Yes. And for this, you shall be punished. As is the christian way. Our goal is to piss off as many people as possible on this podcast. That's right. We're coming for all of you. We hold no prisoners on this zero subscriber podcast. [00:02:05] Speaker A: Do you have a weird belief we're gonna. [00:02:09] Speaker B: Do you believe something? Fuck you. How dare you believe something? But, yeah, we lived in small buildings and then medium buildings, and then the biggest cities have tall buildings, so I feel like it's semi natural to be like, buildings will just keep getting taller. [00:02:27] Speaker A: Taller. Yeah. But that was the weird thing. It wasn't necessarily a skyscraper. It was. I guess technically it'd be a skyscraper, but it wasn't like, buildings all the way up. It'd be like, nothing, nothing, nothing. Now a building. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Oh. Like on a single pole? [00:02:41] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. [00:02:44] Speaker B: Major rules of construction. [00:02:45] Speaker A: Yeah, that can't be earthquake safe. [00:02:48] Speaker B: No, I don't know where they were. Maybe they solved the earthquake problem in the future. [00:02:52] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, wow. Yeah. They can control the weather and natural disasters. [00:02:56] Speaker B: Yes. [00:02:57] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah. Well, they have to probably counteract natural disasters with just man made disasters. [00:03:03] Speaker B: What, like throw a nuclear bomb into a hurricane? [00:03:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Well, they do. They put bombs in some faults. You've heard of this, right? To have controlled earthquakes as to prevent future earthquakes? [00:03:14] Speaker B: I hadn't heard that, but that sounds made up. [00:03:17] Speaker A: I did not make it up. I saw it. Unless they were making it up. I saw it on that John Mulaney show. Oh, they had one about earthquakes. And that's probably true. Seismologists. Is that what they're called? [00:03:26] Speaker B: They are called seismologists. Seismologists. [00:03:28] Speaker A: Seismologists. Seismotologist does your makeup and then talks to you about earthquakes. [00:03:35] Speaker B: Okay, honey, you're in autumn. And also historically, in 1943, we had. [00:03:40] Speaker A: The big one, a seven point. A 7.0 is considered big. [00:03:46] Speaker B: And then, I don't know, maybe like a four. A four or five. [00:03:51] Speaker A: 7.0 is a. Is considered big. And if it's eight, it's just too much. [00:03:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that's when things start falling. Yeah. That's when the things start rattling in your apartment. Well, I've heard that four or three can be pretty overwhelming on the size from seismologists. [00:04:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, don't get it twisted. Whatever size earthquake that you've experienced, I'm sure is enough. [00:04:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:04:17] Speaker B: It's not about the. You know what they say. It's not about the size of the earthquake. It's about how much it fucks up your shit. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I won't get that personal, but, yeah. [00:04:28] Speaker B: Oh, okay. There we go. Yeah, let's. Let's talk girth. [00:04:33] Speaker A: Yeah, let's talk girth. Let's. If you stay long enough, we'll. [00:04:37] Speaker B: Eventually, we will reveal our penis sizes on this podcast. All you have to do is stay subscribed. We will reveal every intimate detail. [00:04:46] Speaker A: What do you feel, though, about flying. [00:04:48] Speaker B: Cars, pivoting back to future and pivoting hard? How do I feel about them? I feel like we've been talking about them being almost. I want to talk about self driving cars, actually, I like that way more because it's pretty close and yet seemingly so far away. And they're all stupid and bad, and it frustrates me, and I just wish that they were nothing stupid and bad. [00:05:12] Speaker A: Have you seen those waymos? [00:05:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I've seen videos of them, like, driving into traffic and making terrible mistakes. [00:05:21] Speaker A: It's kind of scary. I'm always on this edge with a lot of this technology where I'm like, wow, this is kind of cool and also kind of terrifying. But I was crossing the street, and one rolled because you see these cars and they don't have a driver, and it's just, like, spooky. It's like a ghost driving. But I was crossing the street, and I was like, does it know it can see me? Right? And I, like, did this deer to hair lights look like you can see me walking? I'm walking. And I was, like, feared for my life a little bit. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Technology racism detected. Mow him down. [00:05:52] Speaker A: Yes. Just like we were programmed to do. [00:05:58] Speaker B: But, yeah, a lot of tech is really racist. Isn't that the thing? I'm not even kidding. [00:06:03] Speaker A: I mean, it's like. [00:06:05] Speaker B: Cause it was built into. It's based off human behavior. It's like how AI is racist because it was trained off humans. [00:06:11] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's built off of, like, it's only reflecting normal humans. So that's why you get a lot of white people when it's. [00:06:20] Speaker B: Well, you have to understand the technology was based on the default. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Right. Like, normal, like, everyday people. [00:06:27] Speaker B: I saw a viral video of, like, a hand dispenser that wouldn't work for a black hand. [00:06:31] Speaker A: Oh, come on. [00:06:32] Speaker B: Yeah. And I thought. Jack, I thought that was bad and wrong. [00:06:36] Speaker A: You know what? I can see where you're coming from. [00:06:38] Speaker B: There, and I'll wait for you to tell me. I met you. [00:06:41] Speaker A: Let me think about it. Yeah, that's okay. To think it's bad. [00:06:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Upon further thought. I think that's bad. [00:06:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:52] Speaker B: Call me crazy. Martyr me. Martyr me. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Black people are allowed to have sanitized hands. There, I said it. There, I said it. [00:07:01] Speaker B: So I'm waiting for flying cars, hoping they won't be racist. I'm so funny. I'm. Yeah. I don't think I can get in a waymo yet, but I. No, but I feel stupid. I feel like the people that wouldn't get on escalators. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Yeah. What if it shoots you off to the moon? [00:07:19] Speaker B: You said it looks like a ghost is on. I was like, that's probably what they're. It's like a ghost is riding those stairs. [00:07:25] Speaker A: How are they moving? [00:07:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:28] Speaker A: What if they don't stop? I mean, I still not afraid in, like, that same way, but I am afraid to get on escalators sometimes. Cause I'm always feeling like I'm gonna trip. Like my equilibrium's gonna be off, and I'll just tip over to one piece. It is a well known and documented fact that ghosts love escalators. [00:07:50] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, famously. [00:07:51] Speaker A: Yeah, famously. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Have you ever been anywhere haunted? [00:07:54] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:07:55] Speaker B: I'm getting off topic. From future to ghosts. [00:07:57] Speaker A: I mean, ghosts should be around in the future. [00:07:59] Speaker B: Cause I'll be dead. [00:08:00] Speaker A: I. [00:08:01] Speaker B: And I don't plan on leaving. [00:08:03] Speaker A: I got a lot of unfinished business. [00:08:05] Speaker B: Oh, I'm gonna be spooking. I'm gonna be spooking everybody. You watch me. [00:08:11] Speaker A: We're looking forward to being ghosts. [00:08:15] Speaker B: I can't wait to die. [00:08:16] Speaker A: Hell, yeah. I'm gonna spook my ex girlfriend hard. [00:08:22] Speaker B: I'm gonna spook everyone. [00:08:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Remember that guy that cut me off? You're getting spooked. [00:08:29] Speaker B: Remember that guy that didn't give me a promotion? You're getting spooked. [00:08:32] Speaker A: Suspect. [00:08:37] Speaker B: The day I die, the day I die, I'm sticking round the day I die, the day I die there's another ghost in this town. [00:08:50] Speaker A: I got a spooky old house that I just sanded deed to. And I'm gonna go ahead and kill myself so I will spook every room. [00:09:02] Speaker B: That's right. Getting ahead of the curve, about to swerve straight into traffic, yeah, I've got the urge to kill myself. Yeah, kill myself. [00:09:15] Speaker A: I don't mean to brag a bolster. I'm gonna take a bath with a toaster. [00:09:21] Speaker B: I don't mean to take my life. [00:09:24] Speaker A: Oh, wait, I do. [00:09:25] Speaker B: So grab this knife. But then I'll get spookin'yeah, then I'll get spookin'yeah, everyone will be like, what is this? Some sort of scary troop of ghosts all in my house, not quiet as a mouse, no, I'm coming around. Yeah, I'm coming around. [00:09:41] Speaker A: I'm gonna be real with y'all. I'm gonna spook my own funeral. See what people say about me. And if they say something nasty, then boo be boo bee. [00:09:54] Speaker B: The spookiest thing I can say. [00:09:56] Speaker A: Boo bee. Oh, no, he said boo bee. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:10:02] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:10:02] Speaker B: Boo bee. Boo, baby, you know me, you know me walking to the close. [00:10:09] Speaker A: Say boo. [00:10:09] Speaker B: Boo bee. [00:10:10] Speaker A: Boo. Boo bee. [00:10:11] Speaker B: I'm so, I'm so. I'm so spook scary. Spook scary. Yeah, we're not coming. I'm booby bee. Booby. I'm booby. [00:10:19] Speaker A: Unlike a moth, I'm gonna avoid the light so I can keep on spooking at night. I said unlike a mop, I'm gonna avoid the light so I can stand spook tonight. [00:10:35] Speaker B: You know me, you know me, you know me. Boo, baby, boo. Bibi be. I'm so spooky, spooky, spooky scary. [00:10:43] Speaker A: Unfinished business. I got a briefcase. [00:10:48] Speaker B: I'm carrying a briefcase full of my unfinished business. Now, there are taxes that I didn't do when I was alive. [00:10:58] Speaker A: In 2004, I could have paid my taxes, like, a little bit more. [00:11:04] Speaker B: Yeah. In 2019, there was something I forgot to deduct from me. Yeah. Boring. Ghost funny. [00:11:14] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Could you imagine? I gotta. I feel like that's gotta be in a movie, too. I'm gonna kill myself really quick so I could come back as our ghost and haunt you. [00:11:22] Speaker B: I think probably not for the very reasons that came through us. It's like, this is kind of offensive. We're making light of it. [00:11:30] Speaker A: If you can't make light of something that's dark, then what can you do? [00:11:35] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Good point. [00:11:39] Speaker A: Thank you. Yeah. Bilbur. Hey. What the hell's going on with this? Why can't I say that? I got a black wife. [00:11:46] Speaker B: Does Bilba have a black wife? [00:11:48] Speaker A: Oh, does he ever. [00:11:49] Speaker B: And he does stuff. [00:11:51] Speaker A: I mean, he doesn't use it as an excuse. That was my comical take on it. [00:11:54] Speaker B: But okay, well, that's good. [00:11:55] Speaker A: I like to think it's like, hey, I'm one of the good ones. I got a black wife. Let me say some shit. Okay, sure. And I like him. I love Bill Burr, by the way. I think he's one of my favorites. [00:12:04] Speaker B: Okay. [00:12:04] Speaker A: He is? Yeah. You don't like Bill Burr? [00:12:06] Speaker B: I have no opinion on Bilbur. I don't think I've ever heard him say anything. [00:12:09] Speaker A: He's kind of funny. He put. Now I'm just talking a little bit of trash. But he put Bill Maher in his place. The other day, Bill Maher was on one of his rants of, like, how come we can't do this? And he's like, who made you the fucking expert, huh? And it was just so everything he said, there's, like, a compilation of, like, him shooting down Bill Burr's, like, stupid hot takes. Like, uneducated hot takes. Bill Burr's like, no. What are you talking about? That's dumb. I loved it. I love it. [00:12:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Somebody put Bill Maher in his place. Fuck Bill Maher. I don't know anything about Bill Maher. I know he has, like, an HBO show, and he seems like a real, like, boomer. Comedian at this point, like, he's like, like, you know, woke ism is just as bad. It's like exactly what we were talking about. [00:12:53] Speaker A: He's like, he's like one of those guys that, you know that saying, if you don't die a hero, you live long enough to become a villain, right? [00:13:00] Speaker B: He was like, nineties cool. [00:13:02] Speaker A: Yes, yes, exactly. And I used to watch not politically incorrect. That's the first r1 time, real time with Bill Maher. That's the HBO one. And he used to have some like, yeah, exactly. No one's saying this. And then all of a sudden it's like, why are you saying this? Be quiet. Yeah, you're not learning. You're taking the same stance. [00:13:17] Speaker B: Honestly, this is the re. I, of course, get scared that I'm going to become what I'm afraid of. You know, like, that I'm going to age out and someone is going to be like, but I love my AI boyfriend. And I'm going to be like, he's not real. Shut the fuck up. [00:13:32] Speaker A: Oh, it's coming. [00:13:33] Speaker B: And they're going to be like, but, daddy, I love him. And I'm going to be like, you're not my daughter. So where am I? I have to mention this scenario, but you know that something really bad, like, yeah, the AI loving an AI, I think is. But they're already sexy. Have you seen these videos? [00:13:52] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:53] Speaker B: Have you seen this? [00:13:54] Speaker A: I've seen it. I've seen it with my own eyes. I had to wear two pairs of glasses, my readers and my specs. But I saw it. [00:14:00] Speaker B: It's crazy. Like, they're giving it. They're giving them sexy voices. We made 100 Sci-Fi videos, 100 Sci-Fi things about this, and I just feel like, can we learn one fucking thing? Oh, the clicky clacking in the track. [00:14:17] Speaker A: Yeah, that's me typing to my AI girlfriend. [00:14:20] Speaker B: No, no, don't do it. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Come on, baby. What you're doing later, I know exactly what you're doing later. You're gonna hang out with this real cool player. [00:14:32] Speaker B: Oh, my brother. She's a calculator. Don't fall in love with your AI. Don't fall in love with your AI. It's not Scarlett Johansson. [00:14:43] Speaker A: I could make it sound like Scarlett Johansson. [00:14:46] Speaker B: It's not an AI. It's not even an AI. No matter who sexy thing that it's hurting. [00:14:56] Speaker A: Tell you about my favorite two letters of the Alphabet. Imma say it real loud so you'll never forget and you will never, ever question why my favorite two letters are a. And I. [00:15:07] Speaker B: Artificial intelligence. Yes. She just saying shit. Aggregating data so she can't get up on your dick. But she doesn't mean it, bro. She ain't a real player, though. She ain't even real. She's just a collection of ones and o's. [00:15:19] Speaker A: Ooh. You like that fashion Runway model? Well, I'd rather date a learning language model. That's an LMN. I mean, l. An LLM. LLM. [00:15:35] Speaker B: I think you're in an MLM. This is what I mean, man. She is just a machine, man. [00:15:41] Speaker A: I can make her look however I want. I can make her talk or even not talk. I can even not even have to make her walk. She does whatever I want. She's gonna flaunt everything that she does for me. She can make me fool. She can make me pee. She can do anything that you can see. I love my a girlfriend just harder than me. [00:16:04] Speaker B: Why you want to make that girl make you pee? Why do you want to do that thing where she's making you pee? I guess after sex she is making you pee. Ooh. [00:16:15] Speaker A: You can have a golden shower to clean up after. [00:16:21] Speaker B: Cause it's only a digital shower. It is like my super power. Don't fall. Don't fall in love. In love it all. Unless it's with the real, real girl. [00:16:36] Speaker A: My robot girlfriend my robot girlfriend we're gonna make it to the very end. [00:16:44] Speaker B: But they're making robot man as well. [00:16:47] Speaker A: What? [00:16:48] Speaker B: Can you imagine a man who listens when she talks? Actually appreciating her opinion, not just saying she's qua. [00:16:58] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:16:59] Speaker B: We are being replaced, my brother. [00:17:02] Speaker A: No. [00:17:03] Speaker B: Got by an AI other. This is so bad. I am so sad. She still is the best boyfriend that she ever had. [00:17:10] Speaker A: An AI. [00:17:13] Speaker B: We have changed our mind. [00:17:16] Speaker A: Ben and I. We have changed our minds. [00:17:21] Speaker B: It was okay when we were controlling women, but not when you're controlling guys. [00:17:26] Speaker A: You can't control me. Come on, everybody. [00:17:30] Speaker B: We've literally changed our minds. [00:17:33] Speaker A: It's just wrong. [00:17:37] Speaker B: It's. Now it's wrong. It's just wrong. [00:17:40] Speaker A: It's just wrong. [00:17:41] Speaker B: That's so wrong. [00:17:42] Speaker A: Don't do it. [00:17:43] Speaker B: When I wanted a avatar of a woman I could control, it was fine. [00:17:48] Speaker A: It's perfect. [00:17:49] Speaker B: But when you have an avatar of. [00:17:50] Speaker A: A man, that means the real women will start having expectations. [00:17:53] Speaker B: That's messed up. [00:17:55] Speaker A: Come on. I just gotta be me. If you can't accept me on my worst day, you can accept me on my best day, fella. [00:18:01] Speaker B: If you can't accept me when I'm bad all the time. If you can't accept me when I am pushing you to your emotional limit, constantly demanding things of you, no one should have to give. [00:18:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:15] Speaker B: Then you don't deserve me when I'm slightly less that way. [00:18:18] Speaker A: Wait, you want me to learn a lesson every 30 minutes? What is this? Full house. Get out of here. [00:18:23] Speaker B: What is this, lady? Full house. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Get with the program. Wait, no, don't download that program. [00:18:31] Speaker B: Don't download that program. Who's an AI man? [00:18:34] Speaker A: I've. I've talked to AI. [00:18:38] Speaker B: You've talked to her? [00:18:39] Speaker A: I've talked to. I've talked to a. To Scarlett. Not to Scarlett. Also that movie. Her. And I loved that movie. [00:18:45] Speaker B: Oh, it's a great movie, but I'm just fantastic. It's so funny that we make these stories all throughout history that are like. I mean, I think there's been a tweet about this. Like, the movie is titled, you know, don't create the murder bot 7000. And Silicon Valley every five years is like, at last we have created the murder bot 5000 from the. From the story. Exactly. From the allegory of don't create that thing, because it will destroy humanity. [00:19:13] Speaker A: Exactly. And I'm here for it. You know what I mean? I have no choice but to be here for it, right? [00:19:18] Speaker B: Well, yeah, you have no choice because you live here and now I live here in all this. Whatever this is. [00:19:24] Speaker A: I have no choice. What I. The future I am looking forward to is when the apes take over. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Dude, I just saw the new planet. [00:19:31] Speaker A: Saw the new one. I'm behind. [00:19:33] Speaker B: So good. [00:19:35] Speaker A: Really? It lives up to the last three. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Because those last three fallen in love with these ape movies. [00:19:40] Speaker A: Yeah, they're so good. [00:19:41] Speaker B: These ape movies are so good because here's why. I think they tell these perfect, simple stories that, like, cinemas. Like, it feels like you can't make this movie unless it's with monkeys, because it's, like, only through the allegory of it. If it was humans, we'd be like, oh, it's just like a king and he kills his son. It's like they're Shakespeare. [00:20:03] Speaker A: Spoiler alert. But, yes, whatever. [00:20:05] Speaker B: Whatever it is. I know what you mean. [00:20:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:06] Speaker B: But it's always like, he murdered my father, and now I must seek revenge, or, like. Or what hath I wrought? I unleashed a path. They're so simple in a way, and then they just tell them so well and so beautifully, and you feel for Caesar or the new ones. It's not a spoiler to reveal to you. That these new ones take place many generations later. [00:20:27] Speaker A: It's like 300 years later. [00:20:28] Speaker B: Right. It's much, much later. And if you don't mind me spoiling. [00:20:34] Speaker A: A little bit, I mean, I'm spoiled. I know a little bit of what goes on Proximus. [00:20:38] Speaker B: What I like about it is that Caesar is now, like, a Jesus figure. [00:20:42] Speaker A: Religion, as he should be. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Wow. Yeah. You're so right. [00:20:46] Speaker A: If I was an ape, I would 100% pray to Caesar. [00:20:48] Speaker B: What I'm really just worried about is, like, I hope monkeys don't see this movie and start getting ideas. [00:20:54] Speaker A: Uh oh. [00:20:54] Speaker B: You know what I mean? [00:20:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:56] Speaker B: Like, don't show them this. Cause in these movies, humans have it way bad. [00:21:01] Speaker A: Yeah. It's not so good for us. [00:21:02] Speaker B: So I'm like, don't show this to a monkey. [00:21:04] Speaker A: Please don't. [00:21:05] Speaker B: Cause they're gonna do these things. [00:21:07] Speaker A: Yeah. If you gotta show it to something, show it to a cat. [00:21:10] Speaker B: Yeah, cats will be like, I'd prefer to watch cats again. [00:21:15] Speaker A: There's something about those buttholes on the cats that I just love so much. [00:21:20] Speaker B: Show me them Jellicle cats. Show me James Corden's butthole. [00:21:24] Speaker A: Oh, man, that's somebody. I miss James Bond. I miss him. [00:21:27] Speaker B: I miss him. I'm not seeing enough. James Corden. [00:21:32] Speaker A: Wherever you are, James, come back. [00:21:34] Speaker B: Wherever you've been, James, the world is dying for more material from you. Don't listen to what anyone's been saying online. They're all wrong. We miss you. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Yes, 100. [00:21:46] Speaker B: We're talking too much shit. [00:21:48] Speaker A: It's fun. I don't know. We're just having fun. [00:21:50] Speaker B: We're just having fun. Everything we're saying, just take it with a little grain of salt. [00:21:53] Speaker A: Yeah. If you watch this, we'll send you a grain of salt. So you just could take it with that. [00:21:58] Speaker B: That is such a alpha podcast. Well, why don't we send you a little grain of salt? [00:22:04] Speaker A: Send you one? [00:22:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:05] Speaker B: You can send us back your crocodile tears. [00:22:08] Speaker A: Oh, I wouldn't mind getting some crocodile tears in the mail, though. [00:22:12] Speaker B: Yeah, they'd be good for my witch's brew. [00:22:14] Speaker A: But those. You know, Don, I just recently watched. [00:22:17] Speaker B: You just call me Don. [00:22:18] Speaker A: Don of the planet of the Apes. [00:22:20] Speaker B: Don. You know Don. [00:22:21] Speaker A: Come on, Don. This is what I'm talking about. [00:22:23] Speaker B: What? Rogie? [00:22:24] Speaker A: Nobody's giving love to these apes no more. I mean, apes. We used to be apes. According to some folk. [00:22:32] Speaker B: A lot of people. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Forget Darwin said it. [00:22:35] Speaker B: Who are we right now? [00:22:36] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:22:37] Speaker B: Do Italian? [00:22:38] Speaker A: Do New York. Italians? [00:22:40] Speaker B: Do New York guys. Hey. I love being a New York guy. Oh, yeah, that's the New York old school feel. [00:22:50] Speaker A: Hey, is that Travolta? Hey, now that's my guy. [00:22:53] Speaker B: Now that's Charlie. Roger, Penelope, Benicio, Denise. I'm Italian. I'm mojo Italian. [00:23:12] Speaker A: Mamma mia. [00:23:15] Speaker B: We can do this. This is allowed. This is allowed. You're not a breast. You're not a pest. This is allowed. [00:23:23] Speaker A: This is allow. [00:23:24] Speaker B: We're italian. [00:23:25] Speaker A: We're italian proud. [00:23:27] Speaker B: I'm italian proud. When I'm in New York, I go loud and round. I go around everybody in the town. I'd like Sinatra. That was my guy. Pound for pound. [00:23:37] Speaker A: Oh, look at me. I am the bossa. But I'd rather be eating some pasta or really big spicy meatballer. Cause I'm an Italiana. [00:23:48] Speaker B: I'm an old school Italiana papa. Yeah, you know me, I like a lot of matzo rella on my pizza. Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Yeah. When I see you, I give you a little gleep to say, matzo peppa lita muta. That's italian for you. My favorite guy. The Mario Brothers movie. My favorite film. Yeah. Let me bring it round to you, Bill. [00:24:10] Speaker A: Italiana, Italiana. [00:24:16] Speaker B: You and me, bruh, we're Italiana. [00:24:20] Speaker A: Let me tell you what I'm really urgent. When it comes to my oil, it's extra virgin. [00:24:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:26] Speaker A: I put it right on top, and everybody's like, oh, please don't stop. [00:24:31] Speaker B: I was in Naples. I was in Napoli. It was so good. And I say I don't give a crap. Only if you try to tap me. I say I cannot be autopilied. Yeah. Stop me. That's Kapoli. [00:24:42] Speaker A: Ooh, the aqueduct. Ooh, I'm up in Rome. Ooh, the Vatican. I kiss the pope's ring when I go home. [00:24:52] Speaker B: We are Catholic, probably cause we're italian. Italiana. Manuel. [00:25:02] Speaker A: Mamia, mamma mia. [00:25:05] Speaker B: Abba is famously italian. Mama milia. And also the mob. [00:25:17] Speaker A: I'm in the mob. Married to the mob. Cause I'm Italiano. Dardano. [00:25:28] Speaker B: He's another italian name. [00:25:30] Speaker A: Giordano, what are you doing? [00:25:32] Speaker B: Why? You disappointed your mother by marrying a jew. [00:25:38] Speaker A: You can touch that one. I won't. I won't touch that one. [00:25:40] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. [00:25:42] Speaker A: Why are you disappointing your mama? Marrying a black. There we go. Okay. [00:25:46] Speaker B: I won't touch that. [00:25:53] Speaker A: Oh, man, you know what? I wish we were all just one race. The human race. [00:26:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God, I. Jack, you're so right. You're so right. [00:26:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:10] Speaker B: You want? [00:26:11] Speaker A: Why not? Dude, we're going for it. [00:26:16] Speaker B: This one goes out all across the world. [00:26:18] Speaker A: The whole entire world. [00:26:20] Speaker B: One country, one people united. But not in the fascism way. [00:26:25] Speaker A: No, in the fun loving way. [00:26:26] Speaker B: In a global way. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Globalization should take over the nation. Globalization. So take over the nation. Get out of my face. When it comes to browning colors, all I see is one race. [00:26:38] Speaker B: One race. [00:26:40] Speaker A: One race. One race. [00:26:42] Speaker B: I want all of the colors blended together. Then we all look birds of a feather. Yeah. You know, I can say all of us sort of shade of gray. Yeah. We do not get more brown. We get more gray. It is weird, I have to say. We are like a fish filet. When you bite in the middle and the middle is a little gray and you're like ghosts. That's the color. I will say. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Oh, I should never be negated. When it comes to rainbows, I think they're over rated. All I need to do and all I need to say is mix all those colors together to get a shade of grey. [00:27:16] Speaker B: I do not want a mosaic. I want a melting pot. All of us together in one color. We are hot. Melting all together. Till one color pours out. That is what will be. One race is what I'm all about. When I say one race, it kind sounds weird, nicer. When you say it, it feels like a beard of me saying some sort of thing. That is kind of white power. I don't think this is the stuff I should do every hour. [00:27:43] Speaker A: No more white power. No more black power. No more brown power. No more yellow power. No more red power. There's just one power. Human race power. And it will last for hours. [00:27:59] Speaker B: One race. One race. And the humanity is in first place when we. When we run that run that run. One race. One race. [00:28:11] Speaker A: One race. One race. So many face building together. I will go ahead and wear that sheet like a sweater. Everybody knows that cold weather never gets better. We'll keep it warm with our bodies. Keep it warm with our hearts. We meld all our minds in that big melting pot. We got what we want. And we want a whole lot. One race is the best. One race is all we got. [00:28:37] Speaker B: This sounds like the music that my uncle likes. You know what I mean? It sounds like the music that my uncle likes. [00:28:47] Speaker A: Shout out. Shout out to the uncles. [00:28:50] Speaker B: Uncles of the world. Love this song. Love this song. [00:28:54] Speaker A: Uncles of the world. Love this song. Love this song. [00:28:57] Speaker B: Shout out to the uncles. One race. They aren't wrong. [00:29:01] Speaker A: One race. The uncle race. Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. [00:29:11] Speaker B: Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. [00:29:14] Speaker A: One race. [00:29:15] Speaker B: One race. [00:29:15] Speaker A: The uncle raised. I'm excited for that future. [00:29:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:21] Speaker A: Just uncles. [00:29:22] Speaker B: I do think you pour out your cereal. Whoa. All uncles. I was hoping there would be some checks in here. The uncles are supposed to be mixed in. And where's my prize? [00:29:40] Speaker A: The Uncle Ja prize? [00:29:45] Speaker B: I think it'll be nice when we're all a shade of brown. [00:29:49] Speaker A: I think in the future we're gonna be able to pick our shade. It'll be like a process you go. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Through, and it'll be like Gattaca, genetic engineered. [00:29:57] Speaker A: You know? I think that will come for sure, but I think before that comes, because that's pricey. Right. And I think it's gonna be a while before. [00:30:05] Speaker B: That's an everyman thing. [00:30:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:06] Speaker B: Do you think there are rich people right now picking jeans for their kids? [00:30:09] Speaker A: I saw a documentary, like, on ABC, like, five, six years ago, saying how if you have the money, they could. It's not tried and true. So. Yet at that time. But you could, like. It was a possibility. [00:30:23] Speaker B: That was six years ago. [00:30:24] Speaker A: That was like, six years ago. Like. Yeah. Like, 20. [00:30:26] Speaker B: Well, you can definitely pick some stuff now, right? You can pick hair color if you have money and eye color. [00:30:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Which is outrageous. [00:30:34] Speaker B: Insane. [00:30:34] Speaker A: Yeah. I think that's gonna be like. You can pick your skin. [00:30:38] Speaker B: My parents set up my. Set me up. They gave me the curls. They gave me 400 IQ. [00:30:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:44] Speaker B: What's the highest iq? [00:30:46] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:30:47] Speaker B: I assume. [00:30:48] Speaker A: I'm assuming 400. 400 out of 400 established earlier that 400 was pretty high. Yeah. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Yeah. So, yeah. And, you know, they gave me unbelievable stamina in the bedroom. They were setting me up with all this stuff. And now, of course, I'm thankful for it, but at the time, my parents. [00:31:03] Speaker A: Really set me up to hypervigilance. Hypertension. Risky. Yeah. Type two diabetes. [00:31:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Just really fun stuff. [00:31:14] Speaker B: General anxiety. [00:31:15] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:31:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:16] Speaker A: But all that stuff keeps me safe. And that's what I tell myself. [00:31:20] Speaker B: Yeah. See, when someone breaks into my place, I'm like, they're probably a friend. [00:31:24] Speaker A: Yeah. But me, I am ready. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you're having a stroke. [00:31:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:31:29] Speaker B: It's a hypertension. [00:31:30] Speaker A: I can only see out of one eye and my right side clenches out. But I know that there's danger. [00:31:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And in a way, both of our genetics served us. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Not one is better. [00:31:40] Speaker B: It's not one is better. They're just different. [00:31:42] Speaker A: They're just different, dude. But I think that we'll be able to change the color of our skin, but not just along the skin tones, you know? [00:31:50] Speaker B: Oh. Like, we can be green and stuff. [00:31:52] Speaker A: I feel it so hard and strong that when we are old men, there's gonna be young blue people running around, and it's gonna confuse and scare people. [00:32:00] Speaker B: Do you feel that way? [00:32:01] Speaker A: I really, really do. [00:32:04] Speaker B: Isn't that. That's gotta be, like, child abuse to make your child a non human skin tone. [00:32:11] Speaker A: Oh, that'll be. I see. I don't see it necessarily with children. I think that the young people, like, the. The college age folk. I think it's gonna be really big. [00:32:20] Speaker B: Oh, like, you can change. [00:32:21] Speaker A: Yes. [00:32:22] Speaker B: Oh, I see. Like, tattoos. [00:32:24] Speaker A: Like tattoos or hair. Body. Yeah, exactly. It's gonna be like a body mod, maybe. [00:32:29] Speaker B: I feel like body mods haven't, like, gone up that. I mean, I guess there's, like, the height changing is a big body mod. But beyond plastic surgery, which is, like, the supreme edge of body modification, I think most aesthetic body mods had their reign in, like, the nineties, eighties. Like, I feel like most kids aren't doing that stuff. Well, are there less tattoos, less piercings? There's less tattoos out there, I think so. [00:32:53] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:32:53] Speaker B: I think. Well, I mean, like, than, like, in the nineties. [00:32:58] Speaker A: I think that there's more. I don't know about the super young kids. Like, you seen a lot of eight. [00:33:03] Speaker B: Year olds running around with tattoos, Jack? [00:33:04] Speaker A: No. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Gotcha. But the case in point, I think I nailed this. To me. I think I gotcha. [00:33:11] Speaker A: I went to Disney, and those people are, like, college age. And now that, you know, when I worked at Disney, you could not have visible tattoos. [00:33:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:19] Speaker A: So many tattoos, like, sleeves and, like, hand tattoos. [00:33:23] Speaker B: Well, they eventually realized if they didn't let them have tattoos, there wouldn't be anyone to work at this. [00:33:27] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. They're like, well, for some reason, these people that have master's degrees don't want to operate a ride. Strange. [00:33:34] Speaker B: They don't want untatted NBA holders, don't want to have popcorn thrown at them by small children on a Saturday at three. [00:33:45] Speaker A: I think that in the nineties, though, it was more taboo to get a. A tattoo. And so then the effect of that is, like, people our age saw adults in the nineties having tattoos, and that's like, ooh, it's kind of like a. You kind of have to be badass and, like, kind of punk rock to get a tattoo. When we get older, we get tattoos. And now, to your point, the young people who see these old people, now that tattoos are not as nearly taboo. You can have tattoos in any job then. Now tattoos are no longer cool. So I could see that. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Right? It came all the way around. [00:34:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I could see that coming around. [00:34:18] Speaker B: Because adults have them. [00:34:19] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. And it's kind of like, oh, whatever. [00:34:22] Speaker B: I keep waiting for kids to get off the Internet. [00:34:25] Speaker A: Ha. [00:34:25] Speaker B: You know, like, I'm sure that generation is coming. [00:34:29] Speaker A: No, like a, like a going back. Like an amish generation. [00:34:32] Speaker B: Yes. Like an enter. Like, I believe that that's my futuristic take, is that I believe the Internet, because the Internet is becoming less and less fun of a place to be. I believe maybe the generation, maybe this generation, maybe ones after this will opt out, man. And it will be, like, pretty cool to be not on there. [00:34:50] Speaker A: Follow my TikTok. All about how I stay offline. [00:34:53] Speaker B: Yeah, well, that'll be, like the generation above being like, this is how you quit, don't you think? Here's my thing. [00:34:59] Speaker A: That's a positive take. I like the fantasy of it. [00:35:04] Speaker B: Here's what I think. I think that, um. Oh, it's like pop Latin. This is what I think, baby. The Internet has become a cesspool. What's the point? What's the point when you know what they're gonna say in every comment section every single day? The same jokes recycled every single way. Yeah. [00:35:34] Speaker A: What does it mean if everything we're doing online is sharing memes? Oh, I thought I had bigger dreams instead of for all of these corporate schemes. [00:35:45] Speaker B: The Internet is so corporate now. What's the point? The Internet is so lame now. I don't even need to go on. I already know what's going on on every page, every font lawn of the Internet. All the same, all the same jokes, all the same games, every single page. It's like, all the same, all the same arguments too. Joe Biden, Donald Trump. I'm so fucking bored, I could not give a fuck. Who fucking cares about all of this junk? The Internet's so boring. [00:36:21] Speaker A: I swear, it's the same thing on and on again. Like LeBron James and Kim Kardashian. I don't care how much money she spends to change her face and her husband. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Again, a reaction to. Reaction to reactionary content. Yeah, and my brain is fucking on spent. I can't give it any more to my attention. No. [00:36:46] Speaker A: Not to mention that porn, son. I forgot how a real woman feels. I forgot what it feels to feel real. All I see is the dopamine from that really hard beam, heart beam, big. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Tit, another one, two tit. If another woman's there for tits, for tits, you imagine that shit's not legit. All the same, all the same, all the same. All the same fucking names, fucking games on the Internet every day. All that shit is the motherfucking Zan. [00:37:26] Speaker A: I think I'm gonna lose my shit if I see another song from Taylor Swift. [00:37:31] Speaker B: Oh, I think I'm gonna lose it all. There's nothing wrong with these artists, but can we have anyone else? Chapelrone is great. There's nothing wrong with her, but suddenly she's on every fucking page. I swerve, I scroll. Can I just get, like, anything else? [00:37:50] Speaker A: All I see is hate on Jojo Siwa. [00:37:57] Speaker B: All I see is hate on Jojo Siwa. I truly siwa. [00:38:08] Speaker A: There it is. [00:38:09] Speaker B: There it is. That is how I feel. It's just. Don't you feel like you open, like, you see an article? [00:38:17] Speaker A: Yes. [00:38:17] Speaker B: Donald Trump, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You already know what the top ten comments are gonna be. Or, like, you see a hot girl in a video, you already know what the top ten comments are gonna be. It's like, I got. I got to get into golfing. [00:38:32] Speaker A: What's her at, though? [00:38:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, oh, my God. Are you not all so bored of yourselves? [00:38:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm always shocked by the comments also. [00:38:41] Speaker B: That shit. That shit is great. They feel fake and also misogyny on the Internet, I feel like, is worse than it's ever been. [00:38:49] Speaker A: Yeah, because it's. I think there's so many people also that do it just to troll, just because they know that. It's like, oh, I'm being bad, and there's absolutely zero consequences. [00:38:58] Speaker B: I feel like it's worse now than when people were just avatars in the nineties. Like, throwing hate at a stranger. It was literally more polite. It's like. It's like, our sensory. Like, our sense of what is bad is so bored. Like, born out that now people have to be shocking to even, like, get a little attention. A video of, like, some 19 year old, like, just started a new quickness page. Right? So it's feeding me brand new content that isn't, like, curated on the feed. [00:39:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:28] Speaker B: And it's very funny to see how TikTok immediately. Like, the first thing it does is like, hey, do you hate women? Like, that's, like, one of the first. [00:39:35] Speaker A: Let's test this out. Hey, how do you feel about that? [00:39:37] Speaker B: Just curious. Like, okay, you're starting this account in Los. What do they know about me? You're starting in Los Angeles. We think you're male. Based on your other profile, any chance you hate women? [00:39:46] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:39:48] Speaker B: The first call, it's, like, misogynist. You know? It'll be like, some content of, like, a girl posing with her thing. And all the top comments are like, get back in the. Like, quite literally get back in the kitchen. You know? Find a man, seek God. It's just like, what is insane? [00:40:03] Speaker A: All solid advice, though. [00:40:07] Speaker B: To be fair. Cooking and baking are great skills, and having a religious background can increase happiness. [00:40:14] Speaker A: Yeah, if you want to find a solid christian. [00:40:16] Speaker B: Did you see that footballers? That footballer did that speech at a catholic university? [00:40:22] Speaker A: Oh, yes, I do. [00:40:23] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Fuck that dude to hell, I don't. [00:40:25] Speaker A: Even know what's his name. The guy. Yeah. [00:40:27] Speaker B: He's a football player, and he's giving a speech at these women's graduation ceremony. [00:40:31] Speaker A: And I heard that his mom was a physicist. [00:40:34] Speaker B: His mom was a physicist. [00:40:35] Speaker A: Yes. And he's talking about all this, like, yeah, I'll get in the kitchen. You don't need to do x, y. [00:40:40] Speaker B: Z. Oh, my God. It was so. It was insane. It was, like, actually insane. It was. [00:40:50] Speaker A: I don't know this dude's name. [00:40:52] Speaker B: I don't need to know this dude's name. [00:40:54] Speaker A: Yeah, that's fair. [00:40:55] Speaker B: Literally, all I need to know is this dude sucks so bad. It's not the fact that he's, like, encouraging, saying, like, you might be happier as a wife and mother. It's the fact that he's doing it at a fucking graduation ceremony. What's up, ladies? Have you ever thought about making babies? Have you ever thought about going crazy? In the wife and husband category, maybe? [00:41:25] Speaker A: Here's what I'm thinking. Get your ass back in the kitchen. Yeah, maybe do a little more bacon and a little bit less courses taken. [00:41:36] Speaker B: Fuck that dude. Fuck that dude all the way to hell. [00:41:41] Speaker A: Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him. [00:41:43] Speaker B: Fuck that dude. I bet his wife thinks his dick really smells. Fuck you, dude. You're the worst. Go back to playing football. Your footballs is cursed. [00:41:54] Speaker A: I curse you, dude. [00:41:55] Speaker B: You fucking suck. Oh, my God. I'm too upset, bro. [00:42:00] Speaker A: Here I go. I'm a witch. I put a curse on you, you little bitch. I hate you, dude. And here's the truth. You're gonna burn in hell, like, really soon. Yeah. [00:42:12] Speaker B: Gonna burn in hell. Yeah. I'm gonna light a little candle, curse you to always swallow a spider every night in the dreams while you sleep. A little spider gonna come on your. [00:42:23] Speaker A: Tongue and creep for the next month. I'm gonna make your left leg just a little bit shorter, and by the end of the year, you're gonna have one leg that's a hella lot longer. [00:42:36] Speaker B: Mild inconveniences for you. Fuck you. Mild inconveniences for you. [00:42:41] Speaker A: Fuck you. [00:42:42] Speaker B: Cause you enter that fucking school and said rude shit. Mild inconveniences for you. Fuck you. [00:42:48] Speaker A: Yeah. And your shoes will never be tied to. And every truth you hear is actually a lie. [00:42:54] Speaker B: And every time you tie a tie, it's not tied. And every time you tie a noose, it's not tied. When you try to kill yourself, your noose is not tied. You fall over like a little baby. You cry. Can't even kill yourself right, you stupid dick. [00:43:09] Speaker A: Fuck you. [00:43:10] Speaker B: Do you think that you're slick? [00:43:12] Speaker A: Go into this graduation, you brag and boast. You hope you kill yourself and you be a bad ghost. [00:43:20] Speaker B: Yeah, you can't even be a good ghost. You're like booby Bob bibi thinking you're so spooky, but you're not even spooky. You just kind of like a kooky little ghost who goes, babu Bobby thinking that you're oh so spooky. [00:43:36] Speaker A: Yeah, actually, I think you're bad. I hate all that shit. You talk about tribes talk about new trends. This is in women's liberation from now until the end. [00:43:48] Speaker B: Yeah, Macklemore, women's liberation. I set us up for that. I just helped think. I know. That was lame as hell. [00:43:58] Speaker A: Macklemore. Macklemore, our favorite rapper of all time. [00:44:05] Speaker B: Maclemore, the savior that we need. [00:44:11] Speaker A: Macamore. Macklemore's sitting at his house right now being like, what did I do? I've been so quiet. [00:44:18] Speaker B: I've been so good. I even, like, made a song about Palestine. And it was like, good. And no one else is doing that. [00:44:25] Speaker A: But it's poor Macklemore. [00:44:26] Speaker B: But poor Macklemore for us, for hating on him, we're the problem, let's be clear. [00:44:30] Speaker A: And he even, like, when he won for best album, he was like, yo, who was supposed to win that year? Like, Kendrick. I forget who it was. He's like, hey, I don't even deserve, like. He did everything he possibly could. [00:44:39] Speaker B: He's been like, defer, very deferential to the culture. He's a part of God. [00:44:44] Speaker A: It's so funny. [00:44:45] Speaker B: And yet, Macklemore, our savior, you saved rap, Macklemore. You saved it from the black, you know. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Thank you for taking hip hop out of black people's hands, Malcolm. You're my guy, my Jesus. More importantly, you're my man. [00:45:08] Speaker B: Macklemore. Come to my house. I'll serve you a plate of food. I just want you to know you're the greatest dude. [00:45:17] Speaker A: The greatest dude. You know, that makes me think. That makes me think. I don't know if I want to do a song about it. If it happens naturally, we can, but I'm going to talk about grain of salt. Here we go. I'm going to talk about a gripe I have. So we do silly raps. [00:45:40] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:40] Speaker A: Right? Yeah. I think that it's fun. As a black person, I'm making space for it that, like, hey, we're not talking about the streets. We're not talking about revolution. We're not even necessarily talking about just having fun and partying. We're being silly, especially with this show. Whatever pops into our head when we do on stage, whatever silly things pop into our head, and we're using the medium of rap to do that. Is it real hip hop? Is it true rap that can be discussed in a college classroom? All I know is I'm having fucking fun with my friend doing it. Right. That being said, I know it's 2024. However, Lonely island, who is a big proprietor of quote, unquote, opening the gateway to a lot of young white people to rap and be silly about it, which I don't necessarily think is a bad thing, but they made a lot of money of it, had a lot of notoriety for it. Like, interesting choice of words, but they're, like, re nigging on it. Like, oh, yeah, what we do is fake rap, and it's not real, and we hate that. And it's a cop out. And it's like, you can't open the door and then be like, yeah, well, we did it, but you guys all suck. [00:46:46] Speaker B: I have to hear this clip. It's just them being like, it's not real. We hate it. They're like, we hate it. [00:46:51] Speaker A: They literally said, we hate musical comedy, and we hate fake rapping. And when you're, like, trying to freestyle and do, like, rapping on top of it, and comedies, like, if you're doing comedy with freestyle rapping, like, yikes. And they never want to hear it. And I was just like, lonely island. [00:47:07] Speaker B: Come beyond the pod. Yeah, we're your biggest fans. [00:47:12] Speaker A: Come prove us wrong. [00:47:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Just like, let's have a discussion. [00:47:15] Speaker A: It's like every. When I was in high school, and I like Lonely island, I've always liked it. [00:47:19] Speaker B: I like some comedy heroes of mine. [00:47:21] Speaker A: I absolutely. I mean, dick in a box I could listen to on repeat all the time. And the other one, my. Even more than digging a box, I love their Mother's day song. [00:47:30] Speaker B: Yes. [00:47:30] Speaker A: If you remember that one. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I'm a mother lover yeah. [00:47:34] Speaker A: It's so funny. I sing it unironically often, and I. [00:47:39] Speaker B: Just like, what a bummer. [00:47:41] Speaker A: What I had to, like, deal with is all of these, like, young white kids thinking that they liked rap, right? And they're like, oh. Because they know, like, three lonely island songs, but they don't know anything else, but now they're claiming it. And I had to, like, wrestle with, like, well, you know, if they're opening it up and then maybe eventually they'll listen to other stuff. Sure. But it's just like, how can you take that stance and then just, like, now back out? It just feels, like, cowardly, and it drives me a little nuts. [00:48:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:07] Speaker A: I just had to. I had to get that off my chest. [00:48:08] Speaker B: Well, listen, Andy, when you see this, get back to Seth Meyers. Andy, when you see this, when you hear this, get back to us. Let us know. We want to know if we misunderstood what you were saying. [00:48:18] Speaker A: Maybe I misinterpreted. Maybe you were doing a bit and you don't hate it as much as you claim to hate it in that episode. [00:48:23] Speaker B: Maybe you're just, like, having one of those days when you're like, all our old stuff is bad. Yeah. We want to hear that. You know, and obviously, as two podcasts of equal importance and size, I think we can all agree that we could come together, do a collaborative app, and sort of figure out what's going on there. [00:48:40] Speaker A: We'll just. We'll settle this beef. We'll settle it on a podcast. [00:48:43] Speaker B: Yeah. A lot of people saying. Are saying that we have rap beef. A lot of people on the island, most people. [00:48:49] Speaker A: Most people, they stop me on the. [00:48:51] Speaker B: Street, ask a stranger, they'll be like, you're the guys with the comedy rap beef. [00:48:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:56] Speaker A: I mean, I'd love to settle it. We just trade a few bars here in the studio. [00:49:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Who's funnier? I'm just saying, let's do it. [00:49:06] Speaker A: Let's bring it out. [00:49:07] Speaker B: Yeah. But that's what I see on our future, personally. Speaking of the future. [00:49:12] Speaker A: Yeah. 20 years from now, I'm gonna be like, look, what we were doing was stupid. It was irresponsible. [00:49:18] Speaker B: That stuff we said about one race, that was really messed up, and I'm so embarrassed. [00:49:24] Speaker A: What I will say, gosh, I'm gonna praise. I don't know if it's all the lonely Island. I don't know who wrote this sketch, but that recurring bit of Andy going into the, he was like a vanilla iced style character, and he would get in the booth and like, hey, yo. They're like, lay down the track. And he lays down the track, and he's like, hanging out with my friends, having good times. I hope they're never. And he's just like, the goofiest rapper. Very, very funny. [00:49:49] Speaker B: Very good. [00:49:49] Speaker A: I love them, but I'm still beefing with Cha. [00:49:53] Speaker B: Yeah, you heard it here first, folks. That's Jack putting his teeth together as if he's gonna bite into Andy Samberg's ego. [00:50:05] Speaker A: You know what I'm biting? I'm biting that beef. [00:50:08] Speaker B: Huh? You wanna fight? You're kinda ready to fight. [00:50:13] Speaker A: I'll fight him. I'll fight him with their fake raps that they love so much. [00:50:19] Speaker B: Yeah, fight. Fight. Comedy legends. Yeah, I think we did this one before, this beat. Yeah, yeah, didn't we? I'll just scrub. I'll scrub. Here we go. That's too, that's not gunky gunk. No lo fi. We did that. Oh, I don't think we did this. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:50:46] Speaker B: You've heard of Drake and Kendrick's beef. Yeah, but we're a comedy rap duo. [00:50:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:50:51] Speaker B: And we've got beef with other comedy legends out there. Moo. [00:50:55] Speaker A: We got beef. [00:50:57] Speaker B: Moo. That's right, Doja cat. Doja. You thought that you could just come out to Moo and then leave the scene? Oh, I'm a serious rapper. I'm a serious rapper. You're right. We see between Doja, come and fight me, preferably with your mouth. You are so beautiful. I want to know what you're about. Wait, no, I'm fighting you. I'm fighting you. I'm mad at you, Doja cat. Don't fight me with your mouth. Fight me with a bat. [00:51:29] Speaker A: Oh, lonely island. I'm hearing you crying, but that island don't look so lonely from over here. Looks like a crowd of millions while you're spending millions, but on fake raps, you disingeer. [00:51:43] Speaker B: You disingear on these fake raps. How about I don't give a fake crap? How about I don't give a fake nap, I don't sleep. I just keep planting attacks on you? Yeah, your balls are blue. You can't fucking jizz. Cause I told you not to. [00:51:56] Speaker A: Don't you dare jizz on us. All you rappers don't you dare jizz on us. [00:52:02] Speaker B: Doja cat, maybe you can jizz on us, but all you other rappers, you can't jizz on us. There's a schism. We don't want your jism. We don't want to know any about ism? No. What's about ism? Not what about me. What about when you got famous in 2003 for dick in the a box? [00:52:26] Speaker A: Fuck you, yo. Yo, here's some hate that you need to calculate. Please don't spray your ejaculate. [00:52:37] Speaker B: No. We're back on Jism again. Yeah. Jizzaming everywhere. Yeah, one more person. Of course. At the top of the landmark on his fucking high horse, Lorne Michaels. Fuck you, Lord Michaels. What you gon do, Lorne Michaels. Fuck you, Lorne. Yeah, I scorn. Yeah, I scorn you, motherfucking Lorne. Yeah, but you regret the day you were born. You really regret it. Michael's not having us on SNL. You will regret it. [00:53:17] Speaker A: Yo, there's only one person who gets an excuse, and he's my pal. That one person that gets a pass is weird out. He's the coolest dude that I have ever seen. He can make fun of, like, man, everything. Hip hops and raps, it's all cool from him. He can do it all over again and again. [00:53:37] Speaker B: He gets a pass. He can do whatever he wants. If he wants to do hip hop, I say, go ahead, flaunt. [00:53:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Weird Al, you can jizz on us. Weird Al, you can jizz on us. [00:53:51] Speaker B: Weird out. Bust your load on both of us. [00:53:58] Speaker A: Yeah, weird Al, you're a God to us. [00:54:03] Speaker B: You've always been really authentic. I don't know. Yeah, you're ringing your bella. [00:54:07] Speaker A: You can rap, you can sing, and you can play the corn. [00:54:13] Speaker B: So that's two people that can jizz on us. Weird Al and Doja cat. [00:54:16] Speaker A: Doja cat, full consent if either of you see this. [00:54:20] Speaker B: Feel free. [00:54:20] Speaker A: Doja cat. If. Just a small request. If you do jizz on us, which again, full consent if you don't mind wearing that cool cat costume you wore to the Met gal last year. [00:54:31] Speaker B: Okay. [00:54:32] Speaker A: Where you had the cat mass. [00:54:33] Speaker B: This really does it for you. [00:54:35] Speaker A: And you had the, like, ears thing. Just saying, if you had to throw something on when you were coming over to jizz on us, and that was available. [00:54:44] Speaker B: Anyway, y'all, thank you so much for listening to the pod. Watching the pod. We love you. [00:54:48] Speaker A: Type in met gala, Doja cat. 2023. 2024. No, this was last year's. [00:54:55] Speaker B: Cool. So you're still. You're remembering. [00:54:57] Speaker A: Oh, I reminisce nightly about it. So creepy. No, I don't really. I just thought it was a funny bit. Doja cat, please stay where you are. Don't jizz on us. [00:55:05] Speaker B: Doja cat. [00:55:05] Speaker A: Weird out get over you. Bye.